Near Death Epiphany

My breathing is heavy while I stare at the fluorescent lights in the waiting room of my doctor’s office. The disappointment is slowly seeping in as my skin crawls. All hope is being drained with every shallow breath I manage.

All 13 long years of my life were leading up to this moment. I can feel my body shutting down. A nurse aggressively jabs the outside of my leg with a long sharp needle. The pain jolts me back to reality.

I ask my mother for her phone so I can talk to my friends and family for one last time. I call a few and tell them nonchalantly how important they are to me. The second needle feels deeper than the first as the chemicals are released into my blood.

On the precipice of extinction, I had a realization; our weaknesses make us the strongest.

I suffer from severe food allergies to eggs and nuts. When I was 13 the doctors conducted an “Egg Challenge.” In this, they monitor you as you ingest the allergen in hopes that you have outgrown the allergy.

In my youth, food allergies were the cause of many tears. Every holiday and classmate’s birthday were another opportunity for me to feel exiled. Those delicious cupcakes were a well-disguised poison. I just wanted to be like all the other kids and experience the carefree freedom of those cupcakes.

It was not until after my near-death experience that I recognized how much of a gift food allergies are to me. This small biological defect is unique, it is a part of me and I am now proud of that.

Our weaknesses make us strongest.

This blog seeks to empower, educate and share.

Horoscopes Are Written within the Immune System

Horoscopes are great… for picking up chicks at a bar. But if you’re seeking a better predictor of personal attributes, offer that person some food.

This isn’t some long winded post about if they are polite to the servers and what it means. Rather this is about what you can instantly know when you find out this new colleague is part of the elite 4% of the American population who suffer from food allergies.

Congratulations! You found a real catch and now know this person is:

Self-Advocating. Every single meal out we need to communicate to chefs the importance of avoiding cross contamination. It’s tough to balance the urgency of our life-threatening message while not having every restaurant turn you down because you are overbearingly obnoxious and make them fear a lawsuit.

Self-Reliant. From a young age we needed to make our lunch every day because the hot lunch at school could have been deadly if cross-contaminated. Most kids just have to worry about finding the lunch lady’s hair in the oddly colored mashed potatoes splattered on the tray.

Empathetic. Experiencing the pain of exile during the most joyous celebrations helped us become more empathetic to others. This empathy helps us meet and connect with people from all walks of life on an emotional level.

Situationally Aware. Reading the vibe of any place can be difficult. But when your life is at stake from workers behind closed doors, it is essential you read the situation and sum up the integrity of the establishment through just a few seconds of interactions with the staff.

 

So, the next time you find out your new potential mate has food allergies, think twice about grabbing that fist full of nuts at the bar. (At least not without consent)

“Is that an Epipen In your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”